Consequences!
Some of the saddest, yet happiest times that I’ve experienced as a counselor was when students suddenly realize that they are one and a half years away from graduation, and that they are not prepared nor on track for it. It is like a panic attack in high gear. The parent makes an impromptu visit with both barrels loaded to attack the counselor or anyone else that they can blame for a decisions and choices that their child has made.
It is sad to see the student in the state of mind that their past choices have caused. On the other hand, I am happy that it is finally happening so now, we can start to do something about the past. While explaining the entire scenario to the student and the parent, in an attempt to bring them both to the present and to have them entertain thoughts of what must be done now, it is important to do so in the most reassuring manner possible. A sense of hope has to be instilled. When this occurs, the flaming parents seem to lose some steam, and the discouraged student seems to grasp some hope. This effort is not to build a false sense of hope, but for them to realize the importance of acknowledging mistakes of the past and taking responsibility for the future. They must further know that it took time to get into the current situation, and that it will take time to come out. But if the choice today is a good one then the consequences that manifest tomorrow will be ones that make us proud and not ashamed. For every choice, there is a consequence!
5 comments:
Annette,
It is so difficult for some students, especially freshmen to understand that their early decisions will have such an impact on their lives. However, as important as their educational decision are, I believe that we need to be equally concerned about other choices they are making outside of school.
It is so difficult to be a teenager today. I believe that they are forced to grow up so quickly and there are so many obstacles facing them. There are more opportunities for drugs, sex, etc.
However, "consequences" are a part of life. Each and every choice we make will have rewards and/or consequences to go along with it. I appreciate counselors like you who take the time to counsel todays teens. Unfortunately, I think you are a rare find and our communities are desperately needing more counselors to assist todays teens.
Thanks,
Dr. J
Our school system is currently in the process of changing our 3000+ student population into smaller more manageable academies. The purpose "they say" is to allow students to focus on areas they feel they might want to major in...Technical, college bound, fine arts, vocational..etc... I've heard parents comments with mixed reviews. Will a child be able to change their "major" if they rleaize they made a mistake in their choice.
These academices will also be run by separate administrations. It may sound ridiculous, but many people in this community believe we are moving to academices so that we don't have to split the county inot tow separate districts. If we build another high school at the northen end, it will hurt our county financially. No one at the top Central Office level will admit to that, but it seems obvious to many. Our football team brings a lot of cash flow into this county. If that is taken away for the sake of "student achievement" then this county will not be on the same playing field as it is now....
What od you think? Anyone else have the same issues in their county?
Renni
The example you gave is another prime reason why relationships in the building are important. It's almost impossible for one counselor to track 300 or more students. Yes it's true choices come with consquences however young people need more guidance with making decisions. Parents often think children are more responsible than they really are when they send them to high school and are amazed when they find out three or four years later that their child has not done what was necessary to graduate with their class. Having a positive relationship with an adult in the building may help counter some of the bad decisions students make regarding academics and maybe even in life. Young people have far more opportunities to make wrong decisions than they did twenty years ago and therefore need more positive relationships in which they are encouraged to do the right thing.
When my daughter was in HS about ten years ago, I was going through a difficult divorce. Even though it was her stepfather, she was close to him and had been around him for most of her formative years. I believe as a result of all that turmoil, that directly effected her., she began making very poor choices in her life.
We moved to another area in order to start over, but she never seemed to fit in at the new HS. She decided at the age of 16 to live with her father....A year later when she was a junior, she became pregnant. Talk about consequences! She is still living through the consequences of her decisions and the effect all she experienced from that time period. She still graduated on time, but it was a struggle. She was allowed to be a home bound student and eve nhad to go to school at night to finish. I was one proud parent (as I held her baby in my arms), watching her walk down the graduation aisle. Now she is attending college, lives on her own and her little girl attends kindergarten. Depending how we use our past experiences, sometimes the consequences of our actions can be used as a tool to help us grow, mature, and become a bit more wiser!
Renni Wooden.
The old saying, If you play, you will pay! This is true in education. I know you see this in high school. Another area that students are seeing is meeting local standards to be promoted to the next grade. Since NCLB, some students, many students are under the impression that is they make a passing score on the standardized test, that they are going to pass their grade regardless of their semester grades. I have made it clear that student can fail their grade for local standards and still pass the standardized test. Trying to promote the NCLB and local standards for promotion are difficult for parents to understand. However, accountability must be followed through at the local level too.
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